Tuesday, December 22, 2009

This wonderful birthday started Sunday night around 10pm, with me crying. I have a hard time with birthdays and holidays. I don't know why. I have NO problems getting older I just get very stressed out and emotional around these events. Josh said that he had been thinking about it and watching and having your birthday this close to Christmas really sucks, so maybe we should celebrate it at my half birthday in June. Which would be nice, but I think I'm too old for that. I need to just accept that birthdays aren't as great for adults.
After a good cry, Josh calmed me down and I couldn't sleep so we watched TV until 12:00 am, so I could be the first to wish myself a Happy Birthday. Josh was very upset because I was looking at the clock on the TV and he was watching his phone and he said the time on the TV was wrong and he was first;)
Then I woke up, Josh got me Jamba Juice for breakfast. Went and got a massage, and my hair and make up done. It was VERY nice. Then we all went to the mall to get pictures with Santa. i just look chubby, but I am 7 months pregnant.
We had hot dog on a stick, which may not sound great to you, but I was soooo looking forward to it! Then we got to ride on a train at the mall. Aiden was adorable and said "chugga chugga woo woo" the entire 8 minute ride. That could have been the highlight of the day!
After, at home I was in my room on the computer and Josh came in because he heard sniffling. He said, "oh just sniffling, no crying." I guess I have a history of bad birthdays.
For the evening Grandma Cindy took Aiden and Josh and I went to Ruby River Steakhouse. They honestly have the best fillet. I have shopped around. To top it all off, Oreo Ice cream cake from Maggie Moos.

Friday, December 4, 2009


I am sure my husband is cheating on me! Yesterday I found his ring on his home desk. He is always "working" late. Frequent "business" trips. He comes to bed after I have gone to sleep, if he even comes at all. Rarely answers my calls during the day.
The sad thing is, it's his real true love, I can't compete with HIS JOB. Another woman, that would give me some sort of understanding, something I could compete with, but NO. Just his computer and his job. The love of his life! Oh and the excuse behind leaving his ring, it hurts his finger when he is programming. Stupid Job!
I almost would understand if it were another woman....

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Photo catch up

Finally downloaded pictures from my camera. Just so you know we haven't been totally boring the last few months. You should click on each photo so you can see Aiden's cute faces better. He is such an expressive kid.

In October we went to the pumpkin patch to pick pumpkins. I discovered that the pumpkins were not actually grown there, when a truck full of pumpkins and hispanic guys pulled up and started throwing pumpkins out to the field we were looking in. Super disappointing.

I went with a friend up to Wolf Creek up Ogden Canyon for 2 days to scrapbook and then Josh and Aiden joined us for the weekend. Josh made a huge pile of leaves and threw Aiden in. We of course didn't think it through and Aiden disappeared. He was a bit frightened when Josh pulled him out.There have been a few trips to the Children's Museum

Monday night we went to Thanksgiving Point to see the lights. Aiden is really into all the Christmas lights. He got REALLY hyper looking at all the lights. It was hilarious. Then we saw the reindeer. They were lame reindeer. They didn't want anything to do with people or the food I paid $.50 to feed them. Aiden got a big gingerbread cookie and has been munching on it for 3 days now.
Today Aiden and I went to the Festival of Trees. We waited in line to see Santa. He was a bit hesitant, but Santa gave him candy. He would not smile for the picture though.
Then he dropped he candy cane that broke into a thousand pieces and we got to wait in line again. He has yet to cry or freak out, for three years now. So I don't think we will get any of those hysterical child photos with Santa ;)

The end.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


I am soooo behind on life. And instead of getting caught up, I am blogging.
I am behind on cleaning.
I am behind on laundry.
I am behind on scrapbooking.
I am behind on math homework.
I am behind on Real Estate stuff.
I am behind on Filing (a part time job a have).
I am behind on my do to list, bills, errands, etc...
Can you be behind on being a wife and a mother? I think I am behind on those as well.

But while trying to clean up my scrapbook room, I found this which makes me laugh

Years ago in a former life, I had this little black pug. We took her to Bear Lake and uncertain if she could swim, we put one of my nephews arm floaties around her waist. How tiny she must have been. But what a great life preserver.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I am ashamed.

After my minor meltdown yesterday, Josh felt it was in everybody's best interest for me to go out. He graciously offered to watch my sisters kids so we could go out. What to do on a Friday night? I am in no condition for the usual, laser tag, mini golf or para-sailing, so we decided on dinner and a movie. Well all the movies were pretty much sold out and I was not going to go to just dinner on my free night. We went to see "New Moon". I am finding myself eating my words quite a bit lately. I said I would probably see it when the hype had died down or when it was on video, but I certainly was NOT going to see it on opening night. haha.
It wasn't bad. I somehow found my humor again and had the guy behind us busting up laughing most the night with my witty remarks. I did however have to reign myself in for fear that the die hard "Twilight" fans may beat me up.
I am having a hard time deciding if I am Team Jacob or Team Edward. Edward is a fantasy, he doesn't exist in real life. He says everything you want to hear. He's romantic. He worships her. But thats not real. Jacob is real. He is stable and warm. Most of the time I think I am Team Jacob because I chose the stable real warm person. But then Edward says something that any woman would kill to hear and I teeter. So I decided I would pick from who I most likely wanted to sleep with in the movie. At first, Jacob looked like a girl and didn't do it for me, but then he cut his hair and buffed up and it was him. Total hottie! I made my decision.
Then on the way home I got to thinking, he turns in to a wolf. That could be unpleasant. At least with Edward you know what you will be waking up to the next morning. His body was definitely not as ripped as Jacob, but Jacob will age and eventually get fat. Edward will always be the same. So still undecided.
Before, the movie, we tried to do the other popular thing and go eat at In-n-Out Burger. That place was crazy. Not a chance. Well there was a chance, after the movie at 1am we only had to wait 20 minutes in the drive thru for that deliciousness!
I don't know why it bugs me so bad to do what is trendy. There is nothing wrong with it, I just hate being like everybody else. To this day I still think about changing Aiden's name. I thought it was original, but turns out it is a very popular name.

Friday, November 20, 2009


I haven't been blogging much lately. It could be because I have so much on my plate and I am completely overwhelmed! It could be that I feel I have lost my sense of humor. I used to consider myself witty and pretty humorous. I no longer do. Josh will say to me, "You should blog about that." To which I maturely respond, "Why don't you?" He says,"Because I'm not funny like you." Well I don't think I'm funny or clever anymore. Or maybe I'm just so blankety blank tired ALL the time.

Physically I think I am doing better, but mentally and emotionally I am a complete basket case. I cry every day! I feel like a failure as a wife and especially as a mother. My son has gone on this downward spiral the last few weeks and I am at a loss. He yells at us all the time. He hits us and kicks us. He hits and pokes and yells at other kids. We feel like we have tried all we can think of and we need help. Josh wouldn't admit it, but I think he is losing his patience with Aiden. I see him raise his voice quicker and getting bothered by his behavior. And Me? Well I lost my temper last week. For 2 weeks I spoke calmly and lovingly and softly. If he hit I remained calm and gently reminded him it is not nice to hit. Put him in time out. Now I am sooooo worn out, all I want to do is beat the crap out of that kid! I wish there was a boot camp for 2 years olds.

I went to a girls lunch at a friends today. He hit and poked a little baby. That little baby did nothing to him, nothing at all. I just picked Aiden up and left and cried all the way home. He would say, "it's ok mommy. Don't cry mommy. Be Happy mommy." He has no idea what he is doing to us. I can't leave the house with him. I don't want to be around him, which makes me feel horrible for thinking those thoughts. I am too embarrassed of his behavior to ask people to take him so I can have a break.
I am over 6 months pregnant and I just want my old life back. The one where I could move and my body could keep up with me. The one where my son loved me and I loved him and we enjoyed spending time together. Where I didn't count the minutes until nap time and then count them again until Josh gets home. How's that for depressing? Any body have any antidepressants for me or something for Aiden?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Burger King

I LOVE Burger King breakfast, especially when I am pregnant. When we lived in Maryland, it was sometimes the only thing that got me out of bed some days. On more than one occassion, I didn't make it in time and barely missed it and I cried. Yes I cried.
I have found one near the college and will sometimes go get it instead of studying. Well it's been almost a month since my last visit and I went yesterday to get a yummy croissantwich. But the Burger King is under remodeling construction. I didn't cry this time, but I am sad. There isn't a Burger close enough to my home and now the one by the college is closed. Why me?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


It is crazy how much I LOVE Halloween!!! It's only a few hours, and I can't explain why I love it, I just do. We were pirates this year. All week we have been talking like pirates to teach Aiden. He loved it, although we only know about 3 or 4 pirate phrases.

The suspense is over, now you can all see how cute we were on Halloween.

Then it was off to Grandma Jackie's for some Trick r Treating. Aiden was so good, he said "trick or treat" at every door and "thank you" after they gave him candy. I was worried his politeness had left when the rotten two year old moved in. Last year, every time somebody gave him candy, it went straight into his mouth or back up hand, then at the next house he didn't know what to do to get the new piece. This year no candy went in the mouth, but even when his bucket was very heavy he would NOT let Daddy hold it for him.

Look at all my bootie

At home in Halloween jammies and Daddy's Pirate hat.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Pregnancy Update

First with the profile picture of my big Buddha belly.....

Like I would really take a picture of my belly. I'm huge, this hippo is an understatement.

Today was one of the worst days, I didn't get out of bed at all. Normally I have a few hours to clean or make dinner or run errands, but not today. So I called the Doctor. It must be bad if I'm calling the Doc. They want me to go to physical therapy. Which is crazy weird to me. My imagination of that leaves me with unpleasant thoughts. Plus we found out the hard way that our insurance doesn't really cover physical therapy (busted foot, from fall down the stairs). I am still paying the medical bills from the last physical therapist.
So I did some reading and found this http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/pubicpain.htm
It is very accurate and describes a lot of the problems I had with Aiden's pregnancy. Also possibly could have prevented the C-section had I know. This article suggests chiropractic, which we are going to try first since it is much cheaper than physical therapy. It has a name, "Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction". It just means my pelvis is out of alignment. Anyway, I was glad to find this so I now don't just feel like a ninny. I like to put names to my ailments. Makes me feel less like a hypochondriac:). Plus everybody keeps asking me why I need to stay in bed and I don't have a good reason other than to say it hurts real bad to move. So 15 weeks to go and the counnt down is on. Oh and the Tivo is empty:(.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

So much pain

For some reason this new child is already insisting on being a pain. I am having lots of cramping and an insane amount of pain down there. Needless to say I am only not in pain when I am lying in bed, but not full lying because the heartburn then kicks in. So sitting up in bed. I really need one of these pillows. Does anybody have one I could borrow for 4 months? Aiden has a little froggy one, but I have concluded I am much too large for it.
I am also super bored and would love any TV series you may have on DVD or any kids movies for when Aiden is with me.

It is not horrible, I can still get out and leave if I need to. This just usually ends in tears and Tylenol. So I am going to try to take it easy to see if the cramping and pain stops.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Terrible Two's

Lately Aiden is being very demanding and bossy. He yells and orders everybody around. He doesn't get this from us, so it must be preschool:)
Yesterday I was super sick and vomiting again so I lied in bed all afternoon. Josh was trying to get Aiden to tell him what he wanted for dinner and I could hear it wasn't working so I came out of my bedroom to offer a few other suggestions. Aiden looks up at me and yells, "Go lay down!". I try to give him choices for dinner. "Go lay down!" I continue to try for dinner, "Gooooooo laaaaaaaaay down!" Alrighty then. Back to bed for me.

I have a terrible habit of only drinking bottled water. Josh will drink anything, and out of convienence I filled an empty bottle of my water up with tap water and put it in the fridge. I wrote Josh's name on it. Yesterday Josh was drinking out of it and Aiden saw. He was yelling at Josh, "Mommy's baba!" Josh told him it had his name on it but he kept yelling at him "Mommy's baba." Baba is what he calls all drinks, even though he is obviously too old for a baba and does not drink out of one.

He was playing with a friend today, who hit him in the face. He held up a fist and in a very stern voice yelled, "Be Nice!" I was proud he didn't use that fist but don't know where he got the fist thing from. I am constantly telling him to be nice, but never hold up my fist.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Peanut

Today we had our big ultrasound. It was way cool. Much better than the one with Aiden. It was a sweet feeling seeing our creation. But of course I can't be serious about anything, so I was cracking jokes the entire time. I don't think they are used to people asking about tails, webbed feet, scales, and abnormally large heads during such sweet, serious moments. Fortunately, our baby doesn't seem to have any of the above ;)
It was hard not finding out the flavor of the baby. I sort of want to know with this one.
Profile Pics

Legs crossed at the ankles and a little foot. Do you see anything between the legs?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Read this http://www.oneshetwoshe.com/2009/09/bully-at-school-what-to-do-when-your.html

Myself and most my friends included have children too young for this to apply to, but I want to remember this. I am glad my son is not in school. I will probably kill some child is he bullies my Aiden. I HATED 7th grade. I still remember those peoples names and faces. Luckily everything after 7th was amazing. I have often thought I wouldn't send Aiden to school just because of how much I hated it and it was because of some stupid kids.

Talk to your kids, especially the popular ones, they are usually the bullies....

Monday, September 21, 2009

Can you put a price tag on an eye?

It's sad that I have so many posts that begin with a disclaimer. This is one...
Warning, there are some NASTY pictures. Also you may find it tasteless. I have had such a horrible day and am so sickened by this experience that I have to now find the humor in it or I will not stop crying or vomiting. So pardon my tasteless humor.

Joce (the pug) had an eye issue. A month ago our entire family went through a bout of eye infections, starting with Aiden and ending with Toby the dog, oh wait, it ended with Josh's 2nd turn with it :).
Well less than a week ago Joce's eye got boogery so we thought it was her turn. Today Josh looked at her and said there was something black in it and I needed to take her to the vet. So we went at 2:00pm, our regular vet said she had an ulcer on it and that we needed to go to a specialist if we wanted to save her eye. $89 spent there and Off we went. We arrived at the specialist, waited an hour and half to be told she needed surgery tonight or in the morning. They went to get me an estimate on costs. 20 minutes later I was balling hysterically on the phone with Josh. $2500 -$3000. What do we do?
Josh: Are there any other options.
Well they can remove her eye.
Josh: So she'll have a glass eye.
I laugh, "no they sew it shut."
Josh: I'd want to keep my eye.
I laugh again.
Josh: What are the chances she will be able to see?
Josh: Then we HAVE to do it.
This is what she would look like if we decided to remove her eye. Not bad....

This is what she looks like now. Resting comfortably at home with both eyes. She has her Daddy to thank for that.

This is a sketch of the problem. You pay extra for pictures:)

The following are the photos of the surgery, graft, that they had to do on Joce's eye. Not actually Joce but similar surgery.
Does that look like a $2700 surgery to you?

And Lastly, this is what was staring at me as I used the bathroom. Just made me all sorts of uncomfortable.

So this weekend we are having a charity garage sale. "Save Joce's Eye!" OK tasteless I know. But we were going to probably have a garage sale anyway but now for sure cuz we need every penny we can get. And it won't be a charity event.... Did I mention I just spent the last 6 hours at the vet and it costs me a small fortune? Allow me some humor in the situation.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sunday Woahs

This Sunday we finally went to our new ward. This is a conversation Josh and I had before hand.

Em: We can only go to Sacrament. I don't know these people and I'm not sending Aiden to nursery with people I don't know. (This is because I am crazy and think he will get molested.)

Josh: You know most kids are molested by people you know. So if you wait and get to know them it will increase his chances.

Thanks my lovely husband! Needless to say we only went to Sacrament. But Josh has volunteered to go with Aiden until I feel comfortable. I helped in nursery once and wanted to blow my brains out afterwords. It was HORRIBLE!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Yellowstone 2009

We went up to my grandma's time share in Island Park, ID, again this year. Josh came for the weekend this time which was awesome!
I don't know if you recall from last year but I have had this CRAZY goal/dream of touching a wild Bison. Every year I go and I hope and plan. I have criteria, like the bison should be alone or away from other bison, lying down seems better because it has to get up to charge me, giving me a head start, and not around other tourists..... I have figured I can run about 20mph for a very short distance, I clocked myself once. And then I figured added adrenaline of a bison chasing me would make me go faster. Bison can run about 30mph so it would be a close call. Also it has to be close to the truck, like I said I can only run for a very short distance.

Anyway, this year, I decided I wasn't even going to talk about touching one or try. Hello, I'm pregnant, that would be dumb. Unless of course, your husband is driving and willing to drive really close and really slow next to the bison. Also make sure your sister is in the back seat to take a picture:)

Now the bison totally freaked out when I touched it, it did this fast this side step tap dance, that caused us all to pee our pants a little. Then Josh sped away fast, I think you could hear the tires squeal as he drove off.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Camera Download

One day Josh suggested we take the ice tray outside and dump it and play with it. We did. Aiden didn't play with the ice. But when it melted, it was sure fun to lick it up.

We have been doing a lot of yard work lately. This was how I found Aiden, when he was helping one day. He put the gloves on himself.
Do to the fact I have been soooo sick with the pregnancy, My sweet husband went and bought me a TV for our bedroom. You must understand the magnitude of this gesture. He swore we would NEVER have a TV in the bedroom. I am sure it will leave after the baby, but I am enjoying it while it lasts.

Aiden has been allowed to watch more TV since I am sick and he turned 2. Boy is he addicted. There is no talking to him when the TV is on. Here he is laying in the Luv Sac with Toby watching a movie.
First day of Pre-School. He was so excited to go. He and Josh had to wait outside for me to finish getting ready because Josh couldn't pull him away from the door. Now he knows what school is and he's not excited. I am having a hard time. I cry when I pick him up. I'm not sure why, I feel guilty and I missed him so much. He had a hard day today . He was sad and missed me, they said. This is going to be HUGE for us, if we get through it.
We bought new shoes for school, which he loves. I think that is the only non-masculine thing about Aiden. He loves shoes!

And so I life continues...

Monday, August 31, 2009


As I have before mentioned, I am not reading books with this pregnancy. I know the basics.
A few weeks ago, Josh and I were trying to find the baby. It was hard to find. The baby should have been the size of a lemon, why couldn't we find it?
Throughout this pregnancy there has been this hard lump above my belly button. I figured it was my stomach or some other organ that had been misplaced with the addition of the baby to my insides. I always made people feel it and me and Josh always poked at it because it was so funny and strange feeling. Sometimes we thought it was a giant gas bubble.
Well my sister Ali came in town and told me that "at 16 weeks your baby should be 2 inches above the belly button." Oops. We thought it would be lower by where all your girly parts are.
Our poor baby has been poked and prodded, un-gently for quite a while. If it comes out blind with strange indentations, it was totally our fault. Sorry baby.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Want our old video camera

We bought a new video camera and are going to sell our old one at a garage sale. I thought I would let friends and family have first dibs. It's like 11 years old. Hardly used, we only had 3 videos we had to convert. It has the users manual and even a unused blank tape to record on. Josh says you needs a analog to dv video converter to download it to any computer with a firewire port. http://www.adstech.com/products/API-558-EFS/intro/API-558_intro.asp?pid=API-558-EFS .
But you can watch them on a TV without that. I can't find the battery but it has the charger. A new battery would cost about $25. http://www.google.com/products?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=kjK&resnum=0&q=battery+ccd-tr64&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=YeaSSqiFK4vYsgOG-6UM&sa=X&oi=product_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1

Anyway, it serves it's purpose and works very well. Sony Handycam Video ccd-TR64 NTSC. We were going to sell it at the garage sale for $50. You can find them on ebay for $89-$125. It includes the carrying case. Plus if you bought a used one on ebay the battery would probably be shot anyway. 11 year old batteries rarely work :) It's little and cute:) Let me know if you want it.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The cat is out of the bag...

So I have a confession. Besides starting sentences out with "so", which I picked up from Josh, because he does it ALL the time and for 5 years I have made fun of him and now I do it, but not as much....
Confession: In 2006 I graduated from Salt Lake Community College. I even walked at the ceremonies. Shortly after we found out that I actually did NOT graduate. Some minor, error. I sent out announcements and even got presents from Josh, Grandma and Mom. Well maybe Mom, I'm sure she promised me something, unsure if it was delivered (I finally got my mix master for a wedding gift, last year! How long have I been married Mom?) ;) I digress..
So, How embarrassing. I walked, took pictures, got presents all to find out a few months later, that I was missing a class. Well we were planning on moving to Maryland, I got pregnant, and I thought, "screw it." I am never going to work again anyway, my husband will always make more money than me, even if I have a PHD, even if I'm a prostitute, which I wouldn't need a degree for anyway. So I gave up on a degree, told no one, and kept my gifts:)
Then the news of baby number 2 came and hit me like a ton of bricks. I planned this baby, but I didn't plan for the emotional toll it would have on me. Judge me if you want, but I cannot appreciate this child. All my thoughts have turned to, what have I done. Mine and Aiden's perfect world is about to be destroyed. I will NEVER have a life again. My life is over! These are thoughts that get me everyday. I am a WONDERFUL mom to Aiden. He is my world and my best friend, but I struggle with wanting this new baby.
So, Since I realized my life is over in February, I decided, yes I do want my degree. I will never get another shot, cuz like I said, life is over with 2 kids. I have enrolled back in college. I have had hurdle after hurdle to jump through. Re-enrollment, placement tests that put me lower than the one class I need, appeals, full classes, and child care. Today it was all finalized. I start in less than a week. Aiden starts preschool in one week and we are not going to have any fun until December, well he'll probably have fun at pre-school, but no vacations and lots of studying. I guess it will prepare us for what life will be like when the baby comes :) Oh and did I mention, me and Aiden have to be at school by 8am!!! This is going to be huge. We'll have to wake up at 7! We sleep til about 9:30 now. Life is going to get crazy....
Hey, maybe I'll walk again at the graduation ceremonies, I can have a kid on each hip:)

Friday, August 14, 2009

Grandpa built me a golfball track

Aka, a snake


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Monday, August 10, 2009

No way

So I just added that baby countdown thing to the side of our blog. Does my baby really look like that? It looks like a person. I still think of it as a peanut. I am not reading books with this one, too many issues, when I read with Aiden. So I never know how big the baby is. It's a real baby!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Smartie Pants

My sister-in-law sent me this http://www.babycenter.com/204_morning-sickness-tied-to-higher-child-iq_10316988.bc
It says, Morning sickness could be tied to higher child IQ.

This kid better be a freakin' genius! I have often thought and hoped this one would be more like Josh. I feel like Aiden is a mini me. I miniature, male, replica. I adore this fact but have thought it would be nice for Josh to have a mini him.

Oh and a name for my illness, woohoo! Not just super sicko anymore. I always feel better when my problems have a name. Then I don't feel like such a baby.
"A small percentage of pregnant women progress to a condition called hyperemesis gravidarum -- severe, persistent nausea and vomiting that can lead to dehydration, malnutrition and weight loss." DUDE that's what happened to me...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


So yesterday I was vomiting very badly. Couldn't keep anything down including water. I guess I got extremely dehydrated and started getting numb in my arm and face. We went to the ER around 10pm. During pregnancy you are at a greater risk for strokes and blood clots so they wanted to rule all that out. I just ended up having a very severe migraine and dehydration. I am supposed to rest and try to avoid stress.

We knew getting pregnant was a huge risk. Aiden was not an easy pregnancy and I was on be rest a lot. Fortunately with Aiden the first trimester was not as bad as this one. I can only hope they are switching places an it will be a walk in the park next month:)

We are going to look into some pre-schools for Aiden. The most importantly thing for me is to keep fluids down and stress down so this doesn't happen again. When I'm up and around I puke and then I get dehydrated which causes me to puke more and it is a vicious cycle:) The next option is to get at home nursing assistance and an at home IV, which we are going to try to avoid.

One other option is there is a small hole or tear in my heart that they wouldn't be able to repair until after the pregnancy. One Doctor felt very strongly about this option and another not so much. Either way, no sense worrying until after the baby comes. This option, however would explain a lot about my past medical history.

So that's where I'm at. I would love help but at the same time don't want to use all my favors. It could be a long 6 more months. I was very conflicted about getting pregnant again. I knew the odds of it being bad were very high and I felt guilty knowing I would need help and it was something I mae a conscience choice to do. Here we are, and I am still torn with those feelings. I chose to do this to myself, full on knowing what may happen. In some ways I feel like I made that choice I need to take care of myself. I asked for it! So that is probably why I haven't asked for help. I need to humble myself and take care of me and the new baby.

Thanks for any help and prayers.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

I had a hard day. Lets face it, there aren't many easy days lately. So when Josh got home I had a cry fest, I just balled my eyes out. After the sobs slowed, he asked, "Do you feel better?" My response was, I don't know. He says, "I bet I know what would make you feel better." "What?" "A Bath, you'll feel better once you wash this layer of grease off."
So wallowing in self pity, completely fine. Wallowing in yesterday's dirt and grime, unacceptable.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Don't drink the Water

Well folks I guess it's time for THE announcement. Baby #2 is due FEBRUARY 12th!!!
Thus far it has been a pretty rotten pregnancy. I thought Aiden's was bad, but this is worse. I have pondered about this post for sometime. Mostly witty titles, so I will explain with each...
other possible titles for this post I toyed with....
If everybody jumped off a cliff... The title I chose and this one are because I swear everybody and their dog are pregnant. I can only name those of you who have publicly told, my oldest sister. My dear friend Liz. My sister-in-law. Shelly, I'm still mad we had to find out so late :) A far away friend whom hasn't officially announced. A close friend who's husband blabbed. Probably more.
One drunken night... This because those who know me, know I didn't want another baby. But a momentary lapse in judgment...
I can't keep my pants on....
This is not what you think. Since I have been pregnant, I cannot keep my pajama pants on in the night. It's ridiculous. Josh makes fun of me. I wake up and there are still partly on but just around my knees. My conclusion is they are supposed to be higher up but with the little pouch the baby has made they can't get up there so they slowly slide down in the night. I don't know, it's silly.
Hell has frozen over. Self explanatory.

And now the unveiling of the Peanut

Not much too look at, I know

Thursday, July 30, 2009


I need something to take my mind off life right now. I NEED everybody to blog, so I have something to read. But instead you are all out having a fun summer. Why? Poor me...

Obviously when things are going so terribly wrong in your life, it is much too personal to blog about. But let me tell you this is the year to beat all years.

I will tell you what has pushed me over the edge. The straw that broke the camels back, the thing that has almost sent me to a catatonic stage.
We have been trying to sell our house for about 6 months. No luck! So we decided to refinance it. We currently have a 7% interest rate. HOLY CRAP! I know. So we got the go ahead, were told we would get 5%. Then the appraisal came in and our land value has decreased $40,000 since December. Nobody saw that coming.
So here we are stuck with a 7% interest rate. Luckily our house is still worth a small amount more than we owe, just all the money we put into remodeling has been lost. No equity.
Anybody want to refinance our house for us? 5% is better than most 401K's are getting right now :) The credit union will only loan 80% of appraised amount and we owe 95% of appraised amount. Suck suck sucky!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

First Haircut

I know it doesn't look like he got his hair cut, but that lock of hair is proof. We decided we wouldn't cut it until he turned 2! Then we thought we LOVED the long wild look. It just fits his personality. So I went and had them even it up. I thought I would cry, but it wasn't bad. He still has longer hair and I am sure it will always be snarly and wild.
He started out in the Fire Truck and then wanted to move over to the Police car and lastly had to crawl into the plane:)

Moving cars mid haircut.

Saturday, July 4, 2009


Does it get any more Hillbilly than this? Dirty white undershirt, camo pants and yellow lenses...

A tribute to Michael Jackson

Yes Aiden is only wearing one glove.

And, Yes he is grabbing his crotch. (NO Idea where he learned that!)
This happened a couple months ago, but seemed appropriate to share now :)