Friday, November 20, 2009


I haven't been blogging much lately. It could be because I have so much on my plate and I am completely overwhelmed! It could be that I feel I have lost my sense of humor. I used to consider myself witty and pretty humorous. I no longer do. Josh will say to me, "You should blog about that." To which I maturely respond, "Why don't you?" He says,"Because I'm not funny like you." Well I don't think I'm funny or clever anymore. Or maybe I'm just so blankety blank tired ALL the time.

Physically I think I am doing better, but mentally and emotionally I am a complete basket case. I cry every day! I feel like a failure as a wife and especially as a mother. My son has gone on this downward spiral the last few weeks and I am at a loss. He yells at us all the time. He hits us and kicks us. He hits and pokes and yells at other kids. We feel like we have tried all we can think of and we need help. Josh wouldn't admit it, but I think he is losing his patience with Aiden. I see him raise his voice quicker and getting bothered by his behavior. And Me? Well I lost my temper last week. For 2 weeks I spoke calmly and lovingly and softly. If he hit I remained calm and gently reminded him it is not nice to hit. Put him in time out. Now I am sooooo worn out, all I want to do is beat the crap out of that kid! I wish there was a boot camp for 2 years olds.

I went to a girls lunch at a friends today. He hit and poked a little baby. That little baby did nothing to him, nothing at all. I just picked Aiden up and left and cried all the way home. He would say, "it's ok mommy. Don't cry mommy. Be Happy mommy." He has no idea what he is doing to us. I can't leave the house with him. I don't want to be around him, which makes me feel horrible for thinking those thoughts. I am too embarrassed of his behavior to ask people to take him so I can have a break.
I am over 6 months pregnant and I just want my old life back. The one where I could move and my body could keep up with me. The one where my son loved me and I loved him and we enjoyed spending time together. Where I didn't count the minutes until nap time and then count them again until Josh gets home. How's that for depressing? Any body have any antidepressants for me or something for Aiden?


Diane Owen said...

Welcome to life with a 2-year-old! I feel like that so often its not funny. So just know that it is totally normal. Its frustration and crazy and makes you want to scream, but its normal! His behavior isn't any worse than any other kid his age going through a hard stage, don't be embarrased, just stick to your guns and do what you have to, and eventually he'll outgrow it and you be back to feeling the way you were. Its hard when you are already struggling with other things, trust me, me you can make it through. And call me anytime you need a break. I can handle it...for a few hours. :)

Bohn Family said...

Gotta love terrible two's!!! We've all been there! It gets better! Hope you feel better soon! Tell your family "hi" for me!

jennybrum said...

They really do all act like that when they are two (and sometimes three, and four...). I remember one day when Dax lost his temper so bad that he grabbed a pair of scissors that Darcy was using a threw them at her face. I cried the whole afternoon. And then there was the day a year ago when he picked up Chewy and threw him over the banister with some toys because he is a "toy" poodle. Now he seems to have grown out of that behavior and is back to being my cuddly boy again (knock on wood). It will get better! Call me if you need a break. You know I will take Aiden anytime!