Thursday, February 26, 2009

Bitter Sweet

I must say I am filled with gratitude. I have been humbled. It really sucks to need help. Thankfully I haven't been in that situation for a long time, since the birth of our son. But this week I REALLY needed help. So much so that I actually would take people up on their offers to help. I just don't do that. Because I am extremely thankful, I am actually going to name names. Thanks to Rachael, who came to check on me the first day and brought her kids to play with Aiden. That was the only fun he got that day. Thanks to Sheri T. who called me and asked what she could do and then called the Relief Society to make sure something was done. Teresa W. who brought us a wonderful meal. Diane who willingly took me and Aiden in and made my son lunch, picked us up lunch, all while I put my foot up on her recliner. Jenny for volunteering to watch Aiden so I could go to a Doctors appt. All the others who offered help or just checked to make sure I was alright (Mom and Liz). A simple phone call, text message, email, meant the world to me.
The bitterness...
When we were in Maryland, I had a very hard time. Complications with the pregnancy, bed rest, then child birth. I felt so alone. Besides family that flew in, nobody wanted to help, nobody would help even when I asked. That is the major reason we moved back. When I fell down those stairs. I was so scared. Beyond words scared. I wasn't sure I could get up to get help for myself. And I spent the rest of the day literally on my hand and knees crawling. Try that. Try to crawl around and not be able to pick your son up to put him in his crib. Not be able to chase him fast enough up the stairs, worried about what he might get into. Not eating because it takes just to much energy and is too painful to move that much. I won't even discuss the pain of having to pull yourself up onto the toilet just to pee. Ok I guess I did discuss it. Kneeling at the sink to wash your hands. I tear up now just remembering how truly terrible it was. Words cannot describe how much love I feel to those around me that expressed their love to me and my son and my husband. I need to let go of this bitterness I feel towards those people who are supposed to be close, who didn't call, who didn't offer to help with my son, their family. I need to focus on how much those people that did help love us and I love them. Something like this really puts things into focus. I am so lucky that the fall wasn't worse. In a blink of an eye, something so completely unexpected could happen and I am glad to know that we have such a strong support. I will remember this and remember to be a better friend and do more for those I love around me. You never know when you will need help, and who will be there for you?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Fall Down. Go boom.

Today I fell. I fell hard! Coming down the stairs I must have stepped on my foot wrong and it did not support me. I screamed. Man I really screamed and cried and as my son frightened came over to me I had to gain control and tell him "Mommy is alright."
I didn't have my phone on me. It took all my strength to go into the room right at the bottom of the stairs, very near where I landed, and pull my laptop off my desk to the floor. I was hoping Josh was on-line, but he wasn't. So I instant messaged his two friends, Asiel and Rob (Thanks for being on the computer so much guys), and asked them to call him and have him get online. I tried both of them because sometimes Josh doesn't answer and I figured if he saw both of them calling he would think something was wrong. So Josh came home to take me to the Doctor. I crawled up the stairs to get Aiden and I some clothes. I crawled back down to get him dressed. I crawled back up to head out the door, got half way up and realized my wallet was downstairs and they specifically asked me to bring ID. So back down again I went. It was excruciatingly painful.
At the Dr. they took x-rays and he didn't see a break. Yet he still referred me to a podiatrist (foot specialist) and gave me my x-rays to take with me and said, "Sorry if I missed anything." WHAT! What kind of Dr. says that as you leave? I have a REAL confidence in his diagnosis. NOT! So who knows whats wrong, but I am going back to a specialist on Thursday morning if I survive. I am literally crawling on my hands and knees around the house. Except in the kitchen, where I hopp on one foot. that tile floor is much too hard for my knees. Aiden thinks its all a game. He laughs at me when I crawl and when I hop, he jumps to mimic me. I have been terribly impatient with him today. And to make matters horribly worse, I have nothing on my Tivo because I watched it all yesterday, on my sick day. So I am super bored and unable to move:(

Monday, February 23, 2009

Sick Day

I guess I already have a post with this title. No creativity here.
I have been battling a cold and this weekend it took a turn for the worse. My loving husband did his best to care for me. I guess I get really grumpy when I am sick. I am considered a grumpy person in my day to day, imagine me sick. That must have been real frightening for him:)
The great news, I totally got caught up on programs off my Tivo. Mostly Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. I was really getting behind so I guess it's a good thing I fell ill.
Another bonus of sickness, missing church. Very nice. I wish more people felt this way. If you think you may be sick or you think your kids may be sick, do us all a favor and stay home. Church is a breeding ground for germs. I hate it.
Josh was a great husband and took care of me and didn't sufficate me in my Nyquil induced sleep.
We went to my moms for dinner. Who cares if I get them sick right? Free food for the sicko. As we played Guitar Hero between dinner and dessert, I had remembered something funny. While Aiden and I were in California with Jamie and Thomas, we all got home from a long day at Disneyland and we walked in to find Grandma and Grandpa playing Guitar Hero. By themselves, not with grandchildren. It made me laugh. How many grandparents play Guitar Hero?

Monday, February 2, 2009

Nothing wrong with being a big zero!

Today was Aiden's 18 moth check up. Technically he is 19 months but we slept through his original appointment date. 11 am, Aiden never sleeps that late, but he must hate going to the Doctor as much as I do.

Drum roll please.....
Weight 21 pounds 4 oz!!! That my friends is the ZERO percentile. Why am I so excited, well because he has been in the negative twenty percentile. Which I will say again, How is there a negative percentile?
Height 31 4/4 inches. 25 percentile. This has been about the same since his 9 month check up.
Head 49 inches. 78 Percentile. This I don't trust because he has been all over the charts and they frequently have to measure twice because they don't like the number they get the first time. I am just gonna say he has a big freakin head and leave it at that.

And this time they didn't even bug me about the shots, that I refuse to give him.

Any firsts since our 15 month check up.
He got his first pillow! It is sooo cute. He had been sick so I had been sleeping in his room so he wouldn't asperate. Then he would wake up in the middle of the night, I would grab his pillow and him and we would go sleep in my bed. Well he got better, but he got in the habit of sleeping with mommy. One night he woke up and I went in to check to make sure he was alright. He was standing up with his pillow in one hand ready to go. "What have I done?"
He officially has all of his teeth. Well until the 6 year old mollars.
He now said PEEEEEE. Which means please. He also will help clean up and put things in the garbage.
He slept in a big boy bed for the first time. First set of stitches. Looking forward to many more..

He can reach a higher shelf on the DVD rack

Big Boy Bed at Daddy's

He is very independent and MUST eat the disgusting weiner all by himself:)

He never stops moving

When we pulled out his old baby things for new baby, he reverted.
He never liked this thing when he was the right size for it.

The big boy still has his binky.