Bitter Sweet

I must say I am filled with gratitude. I have been humbled. It really sucks to need help. Thankfully I haven't been in that situation for a long time, since the birth of our son. But this week I REALLY needed help. So much so that I actually would take people up on their offers to help. I just don't do that. Because I am extremely thankful, I am actually going to name names. Thanks to Rachael, who came to check on me the first day and brought her kids to play with Aiden. That was the only fun he got that day. Thanks to Sheri T. who called me and asked what she could do and then called the Relief Society to make sure something was done. Teresa W. who brought us a wonderful meal. Diane who willingly took me and Aiden in and made my son lunch, picked us up lunch, all while I put my foot up on her recliner. Jenny for volunteering to watch Aiden so I could go to a Doctors appt. All the others who offered help or just checked to make sure I was alright (Mom and Liz). A simple phone call, text message, email, meant the world to me.
The bitterness...
When we were in Maryland, I had a very hard time. Complications with the pregnancy, bed rest, then child birth. I felt so alone. Besides family that flew in, nobody wanted to help, nobody would help even when I asked. That is the major reason we moved back. When I fell down those stairs. I was so scared. Beyond words scared. I wasn't sure I could get up to get help for myself. And I spent the rest of the day literally on my hand and knees crawling. Try that. Try to crawl around and not be able to pick your son up to put him in his crib. Not be able to chase him fast enough up the stairs, worried about what he might get into. Not eating because it takes just to much energy and is too painful to move that much. I won't even discuss the pain of having to pull yourself up onto the toilet just to pee. Ok I guess I did discuss it. Kneeling at the sink to wash your hands. I tear up now just remembering how truly terrible it was. Words cannot describe how much love I feel to those around me that expressed their love to me and my son and my husband. I need to let go of this bitterness I feel towards those people who are supposed to be close, who didn't call, who didn't offer to help with my son, their family. I need to focus on how much those people that did help love us and I love them. Something like this really puts things into focus. I am so lucky that the fall wasn't worse. In a blink of an eye, something so completely unexpected could happen and I am glad to know that we have such a strong support. I will remember this and remember to be a better friend and do more for those I love around me. You never know when you will need help, and who will be there for you?