I AM Thankful.

I have missed a few days. I didn't realize how hard this would be. It has been a good exercise for me though. (and the only exercise I'm getting ;))While I go about my day I try to pay attention to the things I'm thankful for in case I write about them. It just so happens that by the end of the day, I'm exhausted. I don't know why.....
I hesitate to write this because it may be held against be at a future date.
Today I am thankful for my husband. (and spell checker). But mostly my husband. Josh and I are opposites. We have some hard times. Neither of us are easy to live with. But when I stop and really see what kind of men are out there I realize how lucky I am.

I can honestly say that I have no fear of my husband ever leaving me or ever cheating on me. That is huge for me. I may go out for cigarettes and never come back, but he won't. I may regularly ask to hire a pool boy, even though we have no pool, but he would never want a pool boy. Or girl.

He is a great dad. He does struggle with the 3 year old, but who doesn't. I know I can leave anytime I want. Not permanently, but whenever I need a break, he is happy to help. That may be because he is sick of me moping or yelling, but he never says no when I want to go out.

I am a light sleeper. I am somebody who NEEDS her sleep. He takes the baby in the middle of the night if Owen's not sleeping. He takes him in the morning (O is an early riser) so I can sleep later.

Every Halloween he dresses up in costumes, some he doesn't like, for me and my favorite holiday.

Plus and most importantly, he puts up with my crazy. I think most of us are a little crazy. Well I am a lot. And a whole new kind of crazy that the likes of you have never seen :).
I mostly can't stand my husband, but I sure miss him when he is gone. I hate not being able to talk to him when ever I want. I hate not having his presence in the house. I hate not having somebody to punch 5-10 times a day :p. He is sorely missed.

I love you honey.

29 Days of Thanksgiving ;)

Can I be thankful for Pepto twice? Yep it's that kind of week.

I missed yesterday, bummer.

Lately I have felt like I have no control in my life. It is killing me. So today I CLEANED our family room. Scrubbed walls and baseboards, sorted, organized.... It was something I could put all my anger towards.

I had my temple recommend interview. I cried to the Bishop. I wanted him to fix all my problems. He didn't. But I left with a sense of peace. That if I want my problems fixed I need to fix them. Or just let go. Let go of my contention. I have been trying but I guess I need to be more creative.

I am thankful for Temples. They are beautiful and peaceful and lately the only place I can go and feel calm and like things will get better.

Here is the beautiful temple we were married in. It's alright to be jealous ;)

My greatest blessing

This little boy is the love of my life! He melts my heart. I have never been able to stand to hear him cry. He is sleeping now and as I hear him cough it hurts. I was scrolling through pictures of him to post and there's about a thousand I want to put up.
It bring tears to my eyes, how much I love him and how much joy he has brought to my life. He is the most wonderful gift. I would not live without him.

Oh and I'm thankful for Pepto Bismol! Been drinkin' that stuff like a drunk with his sauce. Then Josh brought me home the tablets (along with the puker). So now I'm poppin' those like an addict :).

WOW! Two thanks in one day! I must be so blessed!

30 Days of Thanks. Day 4

It was as if, my decision to do this, was also a way for the fates to try me. Like they are saying, "Oh you think you have 30 things to be thankful for? I'll show you!"

Today I was sick. I woke up in the middle of the night. That's no surprise, but it was at a different time then the baby. I was super nauseous! Then all day I was have stomach cramping and nausea. I thought it was possibly food poisoning. Josh took the kids out for errands so I could take a bath and relax. As soon as they came home, Aiden called for me. I picked him up to say hello, and he threw up all over the both of us. Thanks for saving that for me buddy.

So granted, I know I have a zillion things to be thankful for. It's just been a rough week, and thinking of the good is hard. It's much easier to dwell on the negative, like vomiting, a bank that double paid your mortgage by accident and now you have no money, a tenant who falsified applications and had her ex husband move in to our property. Totally illegal! It continues, bully guy from island park calling and leaving me a nasty message, another tenant late with rent. Oh and I'm in the Relief Society Presidency, sort of, and I found out that they decided as a ward to only provide ONE meal to new baby families. WTF! I know, that got me all worked up.

I can tell you this, Josh is very thankful for all this other stuff that is bugging me because it takes the attention off of him and I'm not angry with him this week. He actually said that.

So I rack my brain. Think happy thoughts! Today I am thankful for music and the technology we have to play it. ie my Iphone/ipod. I have the strangest mix on my ipod. From Lincoln Park to Miley Cyrus to Peter Paul and Mary to Alan Jackson. Crazy! But oh how music can help to take your mind from things.

If I had some sense, I would know how to add music to my blog so you to could listen.

Whoops, but still Thankful.

Last night while saying my prayers, I got to the "thankful" part and realized, I had forgotten to blog. But I didn't want to get out of bed. So it's late. But I did decide what to blog about last night so it still counts as yesterday.
On a side note, When I got to the "I'm sorry/repentance part" of the prayer, I told the Lord I was a douche bag, hehe. Bet he doesn't here that from most of you :) Now what did I do that caused me to be a douche bag, you ask? I saw a homeless guy on the corner with a sign.......


And I threw eggs at him.....


Just kidding. I looked the other way. Sat there at my red light and wouldn't even look his direction. I felt immediatley bad especially since I have dollar bills in my truck compartment just for that. I must have been in a bitter mood. So now I feel like I need to hunt down the guy, but I don't know what he looks like because I didn't look at him.

I am thankful for this Little Beauty



Our house is small compared to most of our friends. Our house is old. But we have invested so much time and money into it that it's ours. Plus it doesn't help that we are completely underwater on it so we will be living here forever! But at least we have a house. A place to lay our kids' heads to sleep.
I drove by the homeless shelter one Saturday morning and I saw little kids outside playing and riding a big wheel. I don't normally think of children as being homeless. Having to stay at a shelter and share toys, that will never belong to them. It broke my heart and still does.
So I love my little house that is constantly cluttered with toys that my children can play with whenever they want.

Thanks but no Thanks

Today has been a hard day. I am easily angered. I wish my emotions did have such an effect on me.
So in my bad mood I try to think of things I am thankful for.... Of course there is always the other 2 boys but I'd like to write about my appreciation of them, when I'm in a better mood.
So today I am thankful for my freezer!
It stores all my freezer meals for the many nights I don't feel making a meal. Like tonight. But instead of a freezer meal we had candy. Another thing I am thankful for:)

Giving Thanks

Day one.
Day one is easy. Which of my boys to pick. Well this is the one...




I am so thankful for Owen. He is the most wonderful baby. I know many people who have easier babies, but for us, having Aiden first, Owen is a gem. He is so happy. You can always get a smile out of him, well except for the Halloween photo shoot, who knows what that was about.
I can't imagine our lives without him. Although it is easy to forget about him because he is so good. I really wanted to be done having kids after Aiden. I'm so glad Josh wanted more and we got little Owen. I may never sleep again, but he is so worth it.